BASEBALL = ITS OWN WORST ENEMY

With baseball having distastefully transformed a health crisis into a labor dispute, here are some amazing financial figures re: MLB.

*10 percent of the players make 50 percent of the money.

*65 percent of the players make $1 million or less.

*Salaries have gone up 40 percent in the last 10 years.

*Franchise values have gone up 300 percent in the last 10 years.

This seems like a job for Bernie Sanders.

MLB’s troubles = billionaires fighting with millionaires over your money.

But, as ex-pitcher Tom Glavine said, the fans will blame the players no matter what. That holds true in the current fracas, even though the players are 100 percent right.

Washington pitcher Max Scherzer has the answer. Scherzer “[believes] MLB’s economic strategy would completely change if all the documentation were to become public.”

In other words, Scherzer wants the owners to open the books.

There are two problems with that: 1) The owners won’t, and 2) if they did, does anybody really believe the players and public would see the legit books? No way.

Every player’s salary can be easily Googled. Fans know exactly how much Bryce Harper makes. It’s precise, it’s out there, and every time Harper strikes out (occasionally) or acts like an ass (constantly), that $330m contract is a lightning rod for complaint.

But nobody knows how much Pirates owner Bob Nutting profits. It’s a lot more than Harper earns, but nobody knows exactly. Forbes Magazine might estimate, everybody might speculate, but the actual number is a deep, dark secret.

Opening MLB’s books would make the owners’ villainy much more tangible.

MLB needs to wise up. The average age of MLB fans is 57. That’s up from 53 a decade ago. Young people seem to have limited interest in a slow, boring game that constantly wades through its own excrement. Baseball fans are dying off. They’re not being replaced.

When I was a kid in the ’60s, the three biggest sports were baseball, boxing and horse racing. Baseball was the national pastime.

But Joe Namath and the New York Jets set football’s wheels in motion in 1969 by pulling the mammoth upset at Super Bowl III. Boxing and horse racing have slid down the totem pole. The pecking order of American sports is much different.

It wouldn’t be surprising if MLB is a lot less significant in 10 years. Heck, it wouldn’t be too shocking if that happens in 10 months, especially if this season is sacrificed at the altar of greed in the middle of a global pandemic.

Baseball has met the enemy, and it is them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IS BRADY > JORDAN POSSIBLE?

After ESPN’s Michael Jordan documentary got huge viewership, the utterly predictable will happen: ESPN will do a nine-part series on Tom Brady that airs in 2021.

That’s one episode less than “The Last Dance.” That’s symbolic, intentionally or not.

But it begs the question: Is it possible for Brady to be remembered as a bigger American sports icon than Jordan?

That’s doubtful. Jordan is in a class with Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali and no one else.

Brady doesn’t have as much charisma.

Brady’s team cheated three times, including one occasion directly connected to him.

Brady hasn’t built nearly the marketing empire. Nobody wears Air Bradys. Nike made Jordan part of the American vocabulary.

Brady was never an Olympic hero.

Basketball is more evidently individual. Jordan has a better highlight reel.

If you’d like to make the argument more tangible, each won six championships. But Jordan never lost in the NBA Finals. Brady lost three Super Bowls.

Jordan was MVP five times, Brady three times.

Jordan was Finals MVP six times. Brady was Super Bowl MVP four times.

Jordan was first-team All-NBA 10 times. Brady was first-team All-Pro three times.

Jordan > Brady, and it’s not close.

Brady isn’t done playing. What if he wins his seventh championship in Tampa Bay? That would be in sharp contrast to Jordan’s abysmal comeback with Washington.

Brady getting a seventh ring would narrow the gap. But the edge still goes to Jordan.

Jordan occupies rarefied air. Tiger Woods had a chance to break into that group. But that was negated by his sex scandal and not catching Jack Nicklaus for most majors won.

CANARY IN A COAL MINE

Tampa Bay pitcher Blake Snell obliged MLB’s owners by turning the ongoing health crisis into a labor dispute, addressing reports of said owners wanting to pay MLB’s players via a 50/50 split of revenue by saying, “I’m not playing unless I get mine.”

Snell also spoke about risking his life, like he might be asked to pitch in a nursing home.

Bryce Harper of Washington and Trevor Bauer of Cincinnati chimed in with support for Snell. If you want a baseball player to show his backside, interview one of those two. It never fails. Harper’s face is creased with a permanent smirk.

Say sports resume, and a big-money athlete sits out for the sake of safety. Then, when nobody drops dead and the situation is proven safe, he joins his team.

That star would have used his teammates as guinea pigs. How would his teammates feel about that? “Hey, let me see if you get it first. If you don’t, I’ll play.”

When sports do resume, those workplaces will be among the safest in the world. Owners will hardly be cavalier about protecting their assets.

But financial agreements must be hammered out first. It’s the unseemly bickering I predicted two months ago.

Meantime, the owners chuckle as Snell proclaims that he needs every dime from his pro-rated salary of $3.54 million if he’s to pitch 12-15 times this summer from a mound positioned squarely between the jaws of death. “I’m not playing unless I get mine.”

Over 36 million freshly unemployed Americans won’t sympathize with Snell. The owners baited the hook, and Snell took it. I love it when a plan comes together.

Make no mistake, Snell isn’t wrong. But he needed to shut up and let the MLB Players Association do the talking.

ALL BRYCE HARPER WANTS IS MORE

The Tokyo Summer Olympics got pushed back from this year to next. Baseball will be featured for the first time since 2008.

Philadelphia OF Bryce Harper wants MLB to pause its schedule in 2021 so its players can play in the Tokyo Games. Specifically, so HE can play.

Harper called the exclusion of MLB players “a travesty,” adding, “You want to grow the game as much as possible and you’re not going to let us play in the Olympics because you don’t want to [lose] out on money for a two-week period? OK, that’s dumb.”

MLB may or may not be back to normal by the 2021 season. There may or may not be a 2020 season. MLB is hemorrhaging money, and for a lot longer than two weeks.

But, by all means, stop the 2021 season so Harper can indulge his ego by playing in the Olympics, thus causing big problems logistically and financially for the entity that enables the average annual value of Harper’s 13-year contract to be $25 million.

All Harper ever wants is more.

Did you ever see Harper talk? His sneer is constant, and he acts like every issue needs to be met with his personal approval.

BTW, the Washington Nationals won the World Series as soon as Harper left.

STOP RETIRING NUMBERS

CeeDee Lamb is a receiver from the University of Oklahoma that got picked in the first round of the NFL draft by Dallas. (You may recall Lamb and his girlfriend briefly wrestling over a phone when he was selected on draft night. The ho phone, no doubt.)

Lamb will wear No. 88 for the Cowboys. Drew Pearson, Michael Irvin and Dez Bryant wore it previously at Dallas. All were great receivers.

That’s much better than retiring numbers. Create a lineage of great players wearing the same number.

Notre Dame football has a placard in each locker listing each player that wore the assigned number previously.

I would retire numbers very sparingly. Pittsburgh sports should have four retired numbers: Mario Lemieux’s No. 66 with the Penguins, Roberto Clemente’s No. 21 with the Pirates, Joe Greene’s No. 75 with the Steelers and Tony Dorsett’s No. 33 with Pitt football.

Do lineage with certain numbers, like the Cowboys. Or a placard, like Notre Dame. Or have a Ring of Honor. But keep almost all the numbers in play.

The Montreal Canadiens are hockey’s most legendary team. They have won 24 Stanley Cups, more than anybody. They have retired 15 numbers.

When you look at their bench, it looks like an offensive line: 54, 61, 62, 71. There aren’t enough hockey numbers to go around. It’s dumb, diluted, silly and not a good look for such a celebrated franchise.

Honor all-time great players. But keep their numbers in play.

THE NFL DRAFT: WHAT MATTERS

Here’s some hard evidence, via the draft, about what matters in the NFL:

*The passing game matters.

In the first round, four quarterbacks got taken. They throw the ball.

Six wide receivers got taken. They catch the ball.

Six offensive tackles got taken. They protect the guys who throw the ball.

Six cornerbacks got taken. They cover the guys who catch the ball.

That’s 22 of 32 first-round picks dedicated to the passing game. It’s a passing league.

*Pedigree matters.

Of the 32 players selected in the first round, 14 are from Alabama, Clemson, LSU or Ohio State. Those schools are literally football factories.

That won’t change, either: The nation’s top recruiting classes belong to (in order) LSU, Alabama, Ohio State and (tie) Auburn, Clemson, Georgia and Oklahoma.

The draft is simple, and will continue to be.

WHEN IN DOUBT, TALK ABOUT THE QB

As a wise old media personality once told me, “When in doubt, write/talk about the quarterback.”

That’s sound advice.

But, regarding the Steelers’ QB position: I tap. That’s enough. Uncle.

Ben Roethlisberger is the starter. The Steelers are comfortable with Mason Rudolph as backup. Cap-wise, they can’t afford better. If they drafted a quarterback with their first pick in the draft (No. 49 overall), he couldn’t be groomed fast enough to be the backup in 2020. Roethlisberger doesn’t want to mentor. He wants to win. Draft somebody who can help now. Like a back, or a receiver, or an edge rusher, or…wow. Lots of holes.

But there’s no let-up: Quarterback, quarterback, quarterback.

The local campaign to sign Jameis Winston keeps on truckin’.

ESPN’s Dan Orlovsky wants the Steelers to move up to draft Utah State QB Jordan Love.

What would the Steelers trade to make such a deal? They have little draft capital.

Ex-Atlanta receiver Roddy White says the Steelers should sign Cam Newton because Roethlisberger is a doubt after elbow surgery and Rudolph stinks. A) Can’t afford it. B) Never mind Roethlisberger’s elbow, Newton’s whole body is broken.

White says Newton could be the Steelers’ starter for seven seasons. Roethlisberger is a better bet to do that, and he’s 38 compared to Newton’s 30.

Anyway, Rudolph (82.0) had a better passer rating than Newton (71.0) last year. Yikes.

The Steelers’ quarterback situation just will not change.

I get it. The Steelers got an All-Pro safety when they sent their first-round pick to Miami for Minkah Fitzpatrick, but they broke the draft. When you’ve got one pick in the first 100 and it’s not ‘til No. 49, your draft has zero intrigue.

So when in doubt, talk/write about the quarterback. Like always.

TIME TO WING IT

The pandemic continues. Volcanoes are erupting. No sports at all.

But let’s look at the bright side: Chicken wings are cheaper than ever.

No NCAA basketball tournament + sports bars closing = a 50% drop in the price of wings. They usually cost two dollars per pound. Now they’re approximately half that.

Gas is cheaper, too. So drive to Big Shot Bob’s and pick up some wings. (Get the Big Sexy flavor.) Eat them while watching a replay of a Penguins or Pirates game. Or watch the NFL RedZone channel. It’s replaying Sundays from the 2019 NFL season…and PEOPLE ARE WATCHING. Desperate times call for desperate TV viewing.

This isn’t funny for chicken farmers. They sold 1.24 million pounds of wings for what was supposed to be the first week of March Madness. This week, they sold just 433,000 pounds. (The NCAA tournament and Super Bowl are peak times for wing eating.) Millions of wings are being frozen for later use. Does PETA know?

Chicken (breast, thighs, etc) is still selling at its normal rate in supermarkets. But few people buy wings at Giant Eagle because few prepare wings at home.

How will poultry producers deal with the glut of wings? By letting less eggs hatch. Perhaps the price of omelets will go down next.

NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO PLAY OAKMONT

Drew Magary is a quality writer. He used to work for Deadspin. Magary recently came up with a good idea. Better than quitting Deadspin, even.

The Masters golf tournament has been cancelled because of the pandemic. Magary says rescind the cancellation. Game on.

Play in groups of one. Hump your own bag. Nobody comes near anybody. The winner takes the green jacket off a hanger in an empty room and puts it on.

Magary is kidding. Probably. But I like it.

What’s wrong with golfing during the pandemic? If I golfed, I’d sneak on the nearest course, by myself, and play every day. This is everybody’s chance to play Oakmont.

Whatever can be done during the pandemic should be done. What’s wrong with grabbing onto any little bit of normalcy possible?

ESPN’s Adam Schefter wants the NFL draft postponed because of COVID-19. He invoked the 58,000 American deaths in Vietnam by way of ill-conceived comparison.

The NFL draft can be done without any human contact. So why not?

The NFL’s timeline hasn’t yet been directly impacted by COVID-19. It will be. But why force that issue?

If Schefter is really so outraged, he should stop covering the NFL until the pandemic is over. But he won’t. It’s just empty virtue-signaling.

Why can’t golf be played in groups of one? If we’re still stuck inside with nothing to do in 2-3 months, society will turn ugly.

I’m going to take up golf, play every day during the pandemic, and by the time it’s over, I’ll be ready to win the Masters.

I’m going to win that gold jacket. Or green jacket. Who gives a crap?

STOP MAKING SENSE

The Talking Heads’ concert film was called “Stop Making Sense.” That’s apropos, because the gushing love displayed for Tom Brady upon his decision to leave the New England Patriots has caused TV’s talking heads to stop making sense.

To be fair, some have never made sense.

ESPN’s Dan Orlovsky said Brady left because he wasn’t given enough to work with. But the Patriots somehow won a Super Bowl just 13 months ago. That indicates sufficient weaponry. True, the score of that victory over the Los Angeles Rams in Super Bowl LIII was just 13-3.  But is the primary object to get more points, or a lot of points? Brady has zero complaint about the circumstances he dealt with in New England.

ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith said that it’s not Brady’s fault that New England doesn’t have a ready successor to him at quarterback. But by all accounts, Brady forced the Patriots to trade Jimmy Garoppolo to San Francisco in October 2017. Brady didn’t want his successor looking over his shoulder, or to be an easy substitution if Brady faltered.

Brady won six Super Bowls. He may be the best QB of all time.

He’s also a cheater. The last pass he threw for New England was a pick-six.

Point is, Brady isn’t perfect. He’s leaving New England. So what? The talking heads are acting like the Pope abdicated the Vatican and bought a bachelor pad in Shadyside.

If Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath, Peyton Manning and Brett Favre can switch teams late in their careers, so can Brady.